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‘Halo’: Master Chief Loses His Virginity While His Mom Watches

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Move over, 365 Days: there’s a new king of raunch on streaming, and it’s none other than Paramount+’s Halo. That’s right, the adaptation of the famously chaste video games that seems to love butt nudity above all other things finally took a step into the great unknown, and had a sex scene. And not only that, it was one of the weirdest, most uncomfortable sex scenes I’ve seen in a good long time.

Spoilers for Halo Season 1, Episode 8 “Allegiance” past this point, but in the episode, John (Pablo Schrieber) and Makee (Charlie Murphy) are growing closer, thanks to them being the only ones able to communicate with some strange, alien artifacts. And in this episode, they take their bond to the next level by sleeping together.

Or at least, after dismissing some guards, John, aka Master Chief, kisses Makee, then the two take off their shirts and touch each other’s scars. Then they wake up later in the same bed, so it’s possible that they just fell asleep after some frenzied scar touching; but the implication is definitely that they had sex.

So why is this creepy? A couple of reasons, but the first one is that during their love-making session, Cortana (Jen Taylor), the digital assistant/AI who is part of John’s brain, is watching them. And though she’s supposed to not make any attachments or have any emotions, it’s clear that nasty little blue voyeur is loving it.

But there’s an added layer here, which is that Cortana is — at the time — working for Dr. Halsey (Natascha McElhone). And later in the episode, when Halsey breaks into Makee’s visual display to try to manipulate her and John into accompanying her off-planet (it’s complicated, don’t worry about it), she tells Makee how pleased she’s been to see Makee and John grow closer. So it’s pretty clear that not only was Cortana watching, Halsey was probably reviewing the footage later, as well.

Oh, and did I mention that Halsey is essentially Master Chief’s mother, since she raised him to be a Spartan warrior from the time he was six? And also Cortana is his mom, because Halsey based Cortana’s mind and body on her own? Is V.C. Andrews writing this Halo series, because Flowers in the Attic has got nothing on this.

There’s one last detail, which is a supposition on my part, because nobody says it out loud, but it is not just distinctly possible, but probable that Master Chief and Makee lost their virginity to each other. For Master Chief, as mentioned, he’s been raised as an emotionless killing machine since he was six years old. It’s only recently that — with the removal of an emotion chip — he is able to feel anything, and in the scar-touching scene he doesn’t just seem unfamiliar with kissing, but even the concept of someone feeling his skin.

With Makee, she had her first kiss, and then was kidnapped and taken to live with the aliens of the Covenant. I don’t pretend to know a lot about alien biology, but pushing aside the possibility that she’s been getting busy with worm monsters, this is the first human she’s interacted with in at least a decade, if not more.

So, to summarize: Master Chief lost his virginity to Makee while Cortana and Halsey watched. Exactly the sort of thing, I’m sure, fans hoped they’d get to see when Paramount+ first announced a live-action Halo series.

Halo streams Thursdays on Paramount+.

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